It’s a universally acknowledged fact that breakups, be it for a long-term relationship or even just a “situationship”, are the worst things out there. Everyone goes through them, sure, but no one can really relate to the experience that you have with it in the moment, you know? Couple with that the fact that we live in a world where everything is on display online and you feel as if you have to wear a happy face to “win the breakup”, and you are in for a miserable time.
I can relate. Recently, I went through a messy breakup. It sucked, as expected—I cried, I raged, I celebrated, all in one day. I played Taylor Swift until Pandora literally changed the station on me, and ate myself sick on Ben & Jerry’s. I rode the breakup cliché train like it was my last chance to total recovery. In a way, it had to be because I knew that in a little under two weeks after, I’d have to see my ex again (womp womp).
My best friend, after watching me try to bounce back from the break like a sitcom heroine, sat me down and, with her help, I managed to create a plan that didn’t involve me getting burned out on ice cream and rom-com movies on repeat (even if the plan takes its naming cues from a rom-com…no shame). Without further ado: a simple step-by-step guide on how to get over a guy (or gal) in ten days.
Day One: Let Yourself Mourn, But Cut Them Off.
The first day always sucks the most, especially if your knee-jerk reaction is to tell your S.O. every triumph, disappointment or funny moment that you came across that day. Losing that connection—and knowing that you lost it—makes things harder just that much, I know, but trust me: block his number. Delete him on Snapchat.
Make yourself inaccessible because, let’s face it, every breakup has a reason and having their contact information at your fingertips is usually a temptation too irresistible to ignore. They don’t need to know how badly they hurt you or how you’re still crying—they gave up the honor of your texts when you broke up. Just let yourself mourn, and leave them out of the loop.
Day Two: Talk It Out (featuring your best friend, your mom, your pet, etc…)
Think of this as part two of day one if it’s easier. Grab the tissues, grab your closest confidante that isn’t your ex, and start emoting. I find that talking to someone, especially someone who saw the relationship play out and has a different perspective on it, is extremely helpful. Maybe you want to bash your ex (which is a no-no) or maybe you want to look on the relationship with rose-colored glasses. Whoever you talk to will (hopefully) help you find a healthy balance between the two extremes.
Day Three: Keep Yourself Busy
If you made it past the first two days and you’re still going strong, congrats! Keep up the streak by keeping yourself busy any way you want or need to. Have classes you need to prepare for? Focus on academics! Want to try that new hot spot downtown with your squad? Head out for a night out! Keeping busy means keeping your mind free from your ex and all the complicated feelings. Plus, it’s a chance to gain new experiences you may not have gotten in the relationship! Win-win!
Day Four: Find One Way To Improve Yourself
Speaking of gaining new experiences outside of the relationship…breakups are the perfect catalyst for learning how to improve yourself. However, take that improvement one step at a time. Don’t become bent on improving everything about yourself—start with something small, like setting a goal to read a book before bed instead of scrolling on your phone. Later, you can move on to bigger things, like training for a marathon or something. You get the picture—make a change, start out small, and then focus on a larger goal.
Day Five: Focus On Friends
Friends will get you through just about anything, right? Why not show them a little extra love today and get the whole squad together? In relationships, we often put our significant other before our other relationships (no judgment—we’re all trying to cultivate that once in a lifetime love connection!). After a breakup, it may be necessary to do a bit of reconnecting and a day devoted to your besties is perfect for just that.
Day Six: Do a social media cleanse.
Whether or not you blocked your ex on Facebook, there may be the urge to go social media stalking. Avoid that by doing a social media cleanse. You can go about it in several different ways. For one, you can block them on everything. Another way is to go through and delete all your old pics and statuses with them so Facebook doesn’t remind you of some cutesy moment you had during better times. Or you could just unplug from it all and have a social media fast. Either way, just find a way to keep the drama of it all offline.
Day Seven: Get Moving
You made it a full week! Congrats! You definitely should dance a little, both out of excitement and for the exercise. After a breakup, you need all the feel-good moments that you can get, and the endorphin rush that you can get from exercise is a quick and cheap way to do it. To quote Elle Woods from Legally Blonde (the patron saint of owning your breakup): “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t kill [ex-boyfriends], they just don’t.”
Day Eight: Splurge a Little
Relationships bring out our giving natures—we want our S.O. to be happy, so there are moments that we sacrifice our happiness for theirs. Give back to yourself today and splurge on a small guilty pleasure! After all the work you’ve been putting in to move on, you deserve to treat yo’self.
Day Nine: Change It Up
Maybe you’ve had the same hairstyle since you first started flirting with your ex. Maybe you’re still following that daily routine that allowed you to see them every day. Either way, something needs to change. Switch your route to class in the morning or try that new lipstick color—something out of the ordinary for you but still something that you can be the boss of. It’s the little changes like that that do wonders.
Day Ten: Affirm Yourself in a New Way
It’s the end, and even if you’re not fully over your ex, you’ve probably come a long way. Validate that journey and the experiences you gained along the way! True, some days were harder than others, but maybe on day four you had an epiphany about what you want to do with your career now that you’re single. Maybe on day seven, you realized that you wanted to incorporate an aspect of day five into your life from now on. There are so many possibilities, and they all start with you.